My kids are my drug of choice (don't read if you have no sense of humor!)

Okay, so the night before last, Tierney had a friend, Maddie, sleep over. Yesterday started out as not a very good day. You see, I've been out of my "nice pills" for several days and it is not payday until Monday. Not that I haven't been nice, at least my family hasn't seemed too terribly annoyed by me (no more than usual, actually!), I've just been incredibly sad. I wake up and cry, then I say my prayers and cry, then I get in the shower and cry some more while making sure I stay in there until the very last drop of hot water is gone down the drain. Anyway, my point is that I was not in a particularly jovial mood. So I had just gotten out of the shower and was standing nakie in my bathroom when Tierney came in and said, "Mom, Maddie just went to the bathroom and there is blood in it." To which I replied, "Blood in her poo?" She said no, that she had just gone number one. So I wrapped a towel around myself and went into the other bathroom and told Maddie, "Okay, show me." So she lifted up the toilet seat and there, lo and behold, was a toilet full of pee and blood. So I told her she had probably just started her period and asked if there was anything in her underwear. She said she didn't know. So I had Tierney get her out a pad and Maddie said she knew how to put one on. Keep in mind that these are sixth-graders. I asked her if it hurt when she peed because sometimes you can have an infection and there can be blood in your urine. She said it didn't hurt at all and there was quite a bit of blood so I figured it probably was just her period. So I left her in the bathroom so she could take care of the necessities. Tierney followed me into my room and started freaking out about how she doesn't want to start her period, she's so scared, etc., etc. Then Maddie came in and said the pad was way too big. It was too wide to fit in her undies (she is one tiny little girl). I told her to make it fit. She laughed. I said, "No, seriously. Make it fit. That is the standard size. And when you pull your underpants up, it will squish a bit. The sides will just kind of roll under a little, but you'll be fine." So she went back into the bathroom to make it fit. I was thinking to myself, "Wow. I'm such a cool mom that not only are my girls comfortable talking about this kind of stuff, but their friends are even okay with talking to me about anything." Then Emily came in. I asked if she knew what was going on with poor Maddie, to which she replied that she didn't. So I filled her in and then she started busting up laughing. She (Emily) was on her period. She had gone to the potty while I was in the shower and didn't want to flush the toilet and make me burn from a lack of cold water. So she was going to wait and flush it when I got out, not thinking that anyone would be going in to use the facilities in that short time frame. So, no, Maddie did not start her period. She is, however, scarred for life. She told Emily that she is very mad at her and started doing the "I'll be watching you" thing with the fingers and the eyes. All in all, pretty freaking hysterical. I have not laughed so hard in such a very long time. It improved my day, and my mood, and my state of mind, drastically. I didn't even miss my meds for the rest of the day.